Many of us are compulsive goal setters. We set targets and furiously chase them down until we lose steam and casually let them fall away. Just think about every new year’s resolution that didn’t make it past January.
But why do we fall short? Why don’t we reach the goals we set? Is it that we’re weak or simply unmotivated? Nope, that’s not it at all. Most of the time, we fail to reach the goals we set because they lack connection and reason. In other words, it’s not about the goal at all and all about why you want to achieve it.
A goal or dream is something you have not obtained yet. It lives just outside your grasp and current emotional means. The way you think, operate and see the world might not be aligned with what is required for you to achieve the goal.
In order to bridge this gap, you need a powerful driving force for this goal. You need a reason to persevere and overcome all the obstacles that lie in your path.
You need a WHY
I am not alone in this thinking. Many other coaches, speakers, and highly successful business minds say the same thing. The concept is that when you understand why you are doing something and that “why” is meaningful and aligned with your values, you will move heaven and earth to get make it happen.
If not, the goal will feature with low importance in your brain and inevitably fizzle away. #anothernewyearsresolution
Is this really for me?
Another reason to develop a “Why” is to clarify whether you truly want something in the first place.
You know that feeling when your best friend gets something new and shiny and suddenly you crave it as if this is clearly the thing that has been missing from your life all along. It can be that she is pregnant or has a new baby. Perhaps you’re the one at home with the kids and she gets a promotion or decides to go on an impromptu trip. Whatever it is, you see something you don’t have, and you want it. This is an excellent moment to ask yourself, “Why?”
Why do you want a baby right now? Why do you want to go to Thailand? Why do you wish you had a big career? Consider what your life would look like if you achieved this goal: do you like this picture? What will you be giving up by achieving this goal? Do you still want it?
Often, you will find that you don’t want it at all, or you’ll see that right now is just not the right time. If you’re here, congratulations! You’ve just achieved massive clarity and now, have an immense opportunity to stop searching for answers around you and start looking inward to find the dream you are really after.Stop searching for answers around you & start looking inward to find the dream you are really after. Click To Tweet
Finding your true dream
There are a number of exercises and meditations which I will be sharing over the next few weeks, but it is important to understand that it’s not something you do just once. It takes practice to let go of your comparative goals and embrace what you truly want for your life.
A couple of years ago, I was very unhappy. I was looking around at my friends, people I went to school with and anyone else I met and viewed some part of their world as better than mine. I felt stuck, as if my life was going nowhere and I was blaming my husband, expecting him to make all my dreams come true. I went on a quest to “find myself” and discovered that I had no idea what I wanted or who I was. This was a huge moment for me. It gave me crystal clear clarity about my life and how I had been moving through on auto-pilot. I decided to become active in my life.
I started by defining my vision. What was it that I truly wanted? My first vision meditation gave me a blurry but honest picture. There were a few things I wasn’t sure about, but I kept going back and slowly but surely the picture became clearer and brighter
So, what do you truly want for your career, your family, fun, romance and every other area of your life? Write it down. Look at this vision and, no matter how blurry it might be at first, ask yourself, “Why do I want that?” Be honest and clear. What will this goal this give you and what will it cost you? These questions will clarify your vision and reveal your true goals.
If your goals are aligned with your path, you will find synergy and almost no reasons not to follow them. In addition, you will discover a driving force that propels you towards your dream every day. Defining your “Why” when setting new goals shifts your perspective as you are no longer chasing something out of your reach. Instead, you are consciously living in a way that leads you towards your biggest dreams.